no one told me living would

be quite this uneventful

when you are younger you have

grandiose dreams of doing

something really fucking awesome

grand

or important

maybe even meaningful

but in all actuality

it’s just a shit-show of monotony

go to work

pay bills

get drunk

read

write

have sex

listen to music

play music

scroll the internet 

masturbate

get high

gamble

paint

watch television

well I guess

other than the first two

life’s actually not that bad

Michael was a 22-year-old virgin living at home in a world where that was almost unheard of. In his younger years, he had a couple of girlfriends, but they were from his church, so no sexual contact was ever made. He had not so much as even kissed a girl for that matter. Michael’s father was the pastor and his mother taught Sunday school at their church. The rules under his parents roof were strict to say the least. They chaperoned dates well into his late teens, which felt normal to him given the beliefs forced upon him. Micheal’s parents bedroom door and the bathroom door was the only ones allowed to be shut, and there was constant timing and listening from the outside when Michael was in the bathroom. After years of the brainwashing and constant sexual and domestic imprisonment, Michael had lost his desire to have sex or seek a lover. That is, if he ever truly had it to begin with. That all changed in a drastic turn of events one evening.

Michael was searching the topic of satanism to share with his Sunday school class, which he was a co-teacher with his mother. There had been rumors of some of the town’s teens having ritualistic seances in wooded areas nearby. Multiple mutilated dog and cat carcasses were found gutted without genitalia. Michael even overheard a few kids at the store talking about sex crazed orgies where everyone was covered in blood. This wasn’t going to happen in his town. He was going to try his best to reach these kids before the devil’s spell took hold.

After reading the Wikipedia page on the Church of Satan, and visiting other pages related, a pop up window appeared on his computer screen.   It was an advertisement for a cam to cam dating site.  Normally he would just close the window and continue doing his research, but something felt different this time.  Something inside Michael’s brain clicked and he wanted to explore further.  With his right pointer finger he clicked on the ad and was immediately taken to the site.  That’s when he laid eyes on things he had only dreamed of, and other acts he never even knew existed.  Not only was this a cam to cam dating site, but it was also a pay to play cam site as well.  On the screen were thumbnail still shots of couples having every kind of sex imaginable, girl on girl action, and a multitude of girls doing solo shows with and without toys.

As Michael clicked from one screen to the next, each thumbnail having their own form of debauchery, he found himself getting enthralled in the action.  He wanted to be a part of what he was seeing.  His penis was growing with intensity with every mouse click and the huge glowing ‘Go Live’ button was glaring at him from the top of the screen.  Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and clicked on the pulsating button that had been tempting him the past 30 minutes.

Once live, with his camera enabled, he clicked on several of the thumbnails that appealed to him.  In every room, the couples and the girls in solo shows would always request tokens before getting naked or performing any act.   Michael did not have a credit card or any other way to buy tokens.  A feeling of discouragement overtook him.  The thoughts of his sexlessness shattered his inner being.  

Just as he was about to close the window and give up for good he saw a thumbnail of a girl in the singles section that enthralled him immensely.  She was dressed in red and black lingerie, had black hair, pale skin that looked so soft to the touch, with unknown symbolic tattoos covering her body,   This girl took his breath away and he had never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire life.  The need to ‘Go Live’ with her was so strong that he ached and agonized for a way to buy tokens.  Michael knew that his mom’s purse was on the kitchen table and she had a couple of credit cards in there.  He knew it was wrong, but the desire to make contact with this girl was stronger than the thought of thieving from his parents.  He felt as if he was in a hypnotized state and consequences were not any of his concern at that moment.

Michael quickly, but quietly went into the kitchen to retrieve his mom’s credit card.  Once back in his room, he frantically but meticulously typed in each number from the card as fast as he could.  He purchased the cheapest bundle of tokens offered and hoped the charge would be buried in with the others on the statement.  There was no time to worry about that at the moment because he had to get to know this girl.  Michael returned the card just as he’d found it and quietly walked back to his room in a giddy but horny state. There she was. He clicked the thumbnail to ‘Go Live’ with the goddess of his dreams and the worst thing imaginable happened.

Michael’s parent’s door opened and his father could be heard walking toward his room. Michael quickly closed all of the windows with nudity and sexual activity, which left only the original page about satanism on his screen just as his father entered.

    “How’s it going son?  You still up?” asked his father.

    “It’s going good sir.  I am learning a lot about the world that I didn’t know about.”

    “Good, good.  Maybe you can help any lost souls in your class that may be on the verge of ungodliness.”

    “Yeah dad.  I hope so.”

    “Well don’t stay up too late buckeroo,” his dad said, as he exited and walked back toward his room.

    As soon as Michael heard his parent’s door shut, he went through his history to click on the site to find her again.  After an hour of searching, he couldn’t find the girl of his dreams anywhere.  He saw guys fucking girls, guys fucking guys, girls fucking girls, girls fucking guys, girls fucking fake alien cocks, and one guy reading poetry while impaling himself with an enormous black dildo.  Michael was about to give up on his search and return to his research for his class, when a ding sounded, and a bubble appeared in the upper right hand corner of his computer screen.  It was her.  The goddess in black and red with the black hair and tattoos was messaging him.  He could not believe it, and blood started to fill his virgin member.

    “Hi.  Where did you go?” the message said.  Michael was frozen.  He wanted to seem cool and not too anxious, but he needed to talk with this girl.  He thought he had lost every chance to find her and here she was contacting him.

    “You clicked to chat but then left,” the message said.  Michael knew if he didn’t message her back he may never have the chance again.  He may lose the only opportunity to get to know this angel.  She may disappear into thin air and he would never get a chance to kiss those vibrant red lips, caress that long flowing black hair, lick that mysterious tattooed skin, and perhaps make love to the pale-skinned beauty. 

    “I’m here,” he typed.

    “Good.  I thought I had lost you,” the message in return.

    “I am just a little nervous,” Michael messaged

    “No need to be.  I am here for you now,” was her response.  

    Michael was a little put off by this message but also felt a sense of warmth.  He quickly forgot about his uneasiness when he clicked the ‘Go Live’ button.  

    There she was.  Live in person, looking at him, and him at her.  The girl he had dreamt of in his mind all those nights was now on his computer screen.  

    “My name is Lilith.”

    “That’s such a pretty name.”

    “It’s an old family name.  It goes back quite a bit.”

They talked for hours, mainly about Michael and his upbringing.  It was so easy for him to talk to Lilith.  It was as if he had known her his entire life.  Michael was not even concerned about his parents waking up and catching him.  Everything in his world finally felt right at this moment.  Not only did the conversation flow so effortlessly, but he got plenty of eye-fulls of Lilith’s gorgeous body at different times throughout the night.  Everytime she would lean over to ash her cigarette, her lingerie would fall down exposing a pair of gorgeous milky white tits with perfect pink nipples.  When she got up to change records on her turntable, her impeccable round ass could be seen poking out from the bottom of her lingerie.  The music she listened to was hard, heavy metal with growling vocals.  This wasn’t Michael’s first choice of music, but he was trying to have an open mind.  With all of her symbolic and mysterious tattoos she appeared to be a human canvas.  Lilith was so comfortable with her body and that turned Michael on even more. 

“You like my body don’t you Michael?” 

“I sure do.  Very much.  I like everything about you.”

“I like you too Michael.  I had a wonderful time tonight.  You are so easy to talk with, but it’s getting late and you have to teach at church tomorrow.  Take my number and call me.  We’ll have to get together soon.”

“I’d like that.  Goodnight Lilith.”  He signed off and deleted his history.

It was after three in the morning, but Michael wasn’t tired at all.  All he could do was think about Lilith.  He tossed and turned only getting about two hours of sleep before it was time to get up for church.  Michael woke up with his mother’s hand on his chest, telling him it was time to get up.  He arose from the bed, went to church, and taught the class with his mother.  However, something was different.  While the preacher talked of forgiveness all Michael could think of was Lilith.  When teaching the class with his mom, all he could think of was fucking Lilith in the most dirtiest of ways.  As he read the printed sheets about satanism, he fantasized of Lilith’s mouth around his cock and her perfect tits and plump ass covered in his cum.  This was not Michael’s usual way of thinking.  He thought he might be going crazy, but enjoyed the thoughts at the same time.  Michael couldn’t wait to talk with her again.

As soon as Michael got home from church he called the number that was given to him.

“Hello,” Lilith answered.

“Hey, It’s Michael.”

“I’m so glad you called.  I enjoyed talking with you last night.  How was church?”

“It was okay, but all I could think about was you.”

“Wow, I’m flattered.  Do you want to get out and do something today? 

“I’d like that a lot.  What are you thinking?”

“Why don’t we meet by the lake next to that big catholic cathedral.”

“Sounds good.  About what time?”

“I’m here now, come on down.”

    Michael was a little confounded that Lilith was at the park already, but didn’t think too much about it because he was going to get to see her.  He told his parents that he was going for a walk.  They asked if he needed accompaniment and a resounding no was the answer.  They spoke with him about his walk with the Lord.  How it can be challenging sometimes, and time to oneself could be very beneficial.  Michael just agreed with a nonchalant nod and walked out the door.

    When Michael got to the park he couldn’t find Lilith.  He walked the entire park and did not see her anywhere.  A sense of discouragement overtook him.  Then an anger took control of him.  An anger that had never been part of his character.

    “Fuck that bitch.  She’s nothing but a whore.  My folks were right.  They’re all jezebels,” Michael said out loud in frustration.  He continued walking the park as the anger fumed out from him visibly.  The kicking of rocks, huffing and puffing, and curses spilled from his mouth uncontrollably.  Michael took a seat on a bench next to a grandiose statue of Jesus.

    “Hello there,” a female voice was heard.  Michael turned and saw her.  It was Lilith!  He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen her the whole time he spent searching.

    “Where were you?  I’ve been looking for you everywhere”  said Michael.

    “I’ve been here at the park walking around looking for you.  We must have just missed each other.  Probably numerous times.”

    Michael thought that explanation was very perplexing because you could basically see the entire park, other than a building where the bathrooms were, and a few statues here and there.  Even though he was extremely baffled by her answer, he was still very excited to be seeing her live in person.   Lilith was wearing a black, extremely short summer dress with tiny straps over each shoulder, revealing more mysterious tattooed symbols.  Michael noticed the absence of a bra immediately.  This was definitely not a problem in his new eyes.  The feelings of doubt and bewilderment quickly vanished when Lilith approached him for a tight, very passionate embrace.  Her broad, braless breasts pressed against his chest.  Michael felt her warmth and he could smell her.  Oh God, could he smell her.  Michael had never felt these feelings.  With just one hug Michaels cock began to stiffen and he thought to himself that he was in love.

    “It’s so good to see you Michael.” 

    “It’s very good to see you.  I can’t believe I’m here with you,” Michael said.

    “Well believe it mister.  Let’s go somewhere else.  Over there by the lake,” Lilith said, as she eyed the gigantic statue of the Lord.   The two of them walked around the entire lake about two times, talking, laughing, holding hands, and being in the moment.  This was something Michael had never had in his life, and he was in total disbelief that it was happening.  As time passed he knew his parents would probably be expecting him soon.

“I’m going to have to go home soon Lilith.  I don’t want to, but I’ve been gone a long time.” 

“That’s okay.  I understand. I’ve had a great time with you.  From what you’ve told me, I know how they can be.  Before you go I want to give you something.  Come on.”

Michael didn’t ask questions, he just followed Lilith blindly across the park.  Her dress was so short that a small amount of buttcheek could be seen poking out with almost every stride she took.  Michael was hypnotized by the view of her long, flowing black hair, her succulent ass, and silky smooth, sexy, tattooed legs.  They walked until they arrived at the circular shaped building in the middle of the park.  

“Follow me,” Lilith said as she headed into the ladies restroom.

“What for?”

“Come on silly, I want to give you something.”

Michael looked around to see if anyone would see him.  No one was around so he reluctantly followed Lilith into the handicapped stall in the bathroom.  Once inside Michael closed the door and nervousness and apprehension flooded his being.  He didn’t know what to expect.  He began to sweat. 

“Calm down Michael.  I am going to give you something to help you think about me.”

Lilith turned around, lifted her dress to reveal a gorgeous, white, tattooed ass slightly covered by the tiniest red thong.  Michael was in total disbelief at what he was witnessing.  She seductively bent over very slowly and with precision, peeled the tiny panties down over her butt and to her ankles.  Lilith stepped out of them and held them up to Michael’s face and said,

“Look, these are yours to help you think about me, but you have to make me a huge promise.”

“What is it?” Michael said almost blushing.

“You can hold, smell, rub yourself, do anything with them, but do not cum.  Do I make myself clear?  If you can do this for me, the next time we get together, your whole life is going to change.  You will get to have all of me and I will have all of you.”

Michael thought of this as a win-win.  Not only would he have these sexy panties on his person, but he also had the promise of doing everything imaginable with this sex nymph.  Lilith leaned into Michael and gave him a long, wet, sex-crazed kiss.  Michael wanted to take her right then in that stall and started rubbing her.

Lilith withdrew from the kiss and removed his hands from her and said, “No.  Not here.  You are going to come over to my place tomorrow.  Then everything will be right.”

Lilith exited the bathroom with Michael just behind her.  She walked the opposite way that Michael had to go.  She turned around, blew him a kiss, smiled, and said, 

“Call me tomorrow so you can come over.  Think about me.”  That wasn’t going to be a problem for Michael.  He was already thinking about her before he was even out of the park.  A quick turn to see her once more was futile, for she was already gone.

When he got home his parents were listening to an A.M. radio broadcast of a preacher.  They turned to greet him and ask him about his time spent alone.  He acknowledged their question with a brief description of a young person he ran into at the park that needed his assistance tomorrow.  In Michael’s mind he wasn’t lying.  His parents were thrilled that another lost soul would possibly be reached by the actions of their son.  They were beaming with smiles and rejoiced in the moment.

“That’s great.  Come son.  Let’s pray on this matter,” his father said.

“You go ahead.  I’m tired and need to get ready for tomorrow.  Wish me luck.”

“We’ll be praying for you son,” said his mother.

Michael went to the bathroom, shut the door, and pulled out the red panties.  He sat there looking at them and wondered what tomorrow would be like.  He held them up to the light.  Fascinated by the glow, he moved them towards his nose and sniffed.  It smelled of roses mixed with bergamot and ass.   Michael had an excuse to leave the house tomorrow, now he just had to get out of his own mind.  It was his time to indulge in the pleasures that he had missed out on his entire life.  He flushed the toilet, shoved the panties down his pants, and went to his room.  Michael could hardly sleep that night. He kept thinking of Lilith, her body, how he would make the first move, or if she would. 

The next morning after breakfast, Michael called Lilith and got her address.  Conveniently enough her house was less than a mile from his.  As he walked, he thought of Lilith, the town’s satanists, the girls he had known from his church, his parents, and the movie he had seen two weeks prior about transgender alien midgets.  As he got close to her house his butterflies really began to fly.  This was his big moment.  He wanted to make a good impression, but he was worried.  Michael was worried about her liking his body, about his cock getting hard enough, and for some reason, about what their kids would look like.  All of these worries would have to take a backseat in his consciousness for the time being because he was heading toward her front door.

It appeared to be a somewhat typical conservative porch.  A few orchids and aloe vera plants in pots, but a strange plant with orange and red trumpet growths seem to be overtaking them.  A porch swing made the setting quite quaint.  One thing that struck him as peculiar was the mailbox by the door was overflowing with letters and bills and such.  Michael took a deep breath and knocked.  He could hear the heavy music with the growling vocals. 

Lilith answered the door in the same lingerie Michael had seen her in on cam that first night.  The deep breath he had taken was now completely lost when he saw the sexy specimen in his sight.

“Hey you.  Get in here.  I have drinks for us.”

Michael entered the house reluctantly but with enthusiasm at the same time.  Michael surveyed his surroundings.  At first glance it looked like an old person’s house.  The furniture seemed old, the art on the wall seemed old, and the record player that the heavy metal music was playing on seemed old.  Michael was very confused, but put the thoughts in the back of his mind.  Lilith was half naked and he was horny. 

“Have a seat.  Here, try this.  It’s pretty good,” Lilith said as she handed Michael a glowing red drink.  Michael was slightly hesitant because he had never had a drink of alcohol, but he wanted to seem cool in front of Lilith, so he took the drink with a smile.  She sat close beside Michael and they talked as they sipped their drinks.  Lilith began playing with Michael’s hair and lightly rubbing his body, slowly meandering toward his cock. 

“That feels really good,” Michael said.

“Good, I’m glad.  Soon I’ll make you feel even better.  I promise.”

“Oh yeah, like how?

“Let’s just say we will be as one.”

Moments passed and Michael was starting to feel the drink.  He didn’t know what drunk was, but he was sure he was getting there.  The room had a slight wobble, he felt tingly all over, and his eyes were extremely heavy.  The walls began to breathe and he got knots deep in his stomach.  Lilith seeing this reaction, stood up, grabbed his hand, and said,

“Come. It’s time.”

Lilith escorted Michael toward a bedroom, down a hall filled with pictures of young and old, none of which were Lilith.  Once in the room Michael figured he was drunk because he couldn’t comprehend what was going on.  The room he entered looked nothing like a typical bedroom.  It was completely empty except for a bed in the center.  The room had a red glow, only lit by six candles around the bed which confused him.  Shadows leapt from walls and Michael could swear he heard his parents talking.

“Get undressed and lay down.  It’s time,” Lilith said.

Michael took off his clothes while watching Lilith start to disrobe at the same time.   He knew he wanted to see her naked and have passionate sex with her, but the drink had him delirious and dazed.  The mysterious symbolic tattoos then began to take shape and form together.  Michael noticed strange cross-like symbols and writings which appeared to be in another language intermingling and interlacing.  When Lilith was completely nude in the shadow laden candlelight, Michael observed the full back tattoo for the first time.  It was of a pentagram with a goat’s head in the middle.  He had seen this exact image on the Wikipedia page a few nights earlier.  An uneasiness overtook him and he wanted to leave.  Despite the naked beauty in front of him, his desire to have sex, and his confused state, he needed to get out of that room immediately.  Something or someone was inside him telling him to leave.  Michael hurried toward the door, grabbed the doorknob, attempted to turn it, but it was somehow locked.  Lilith began to laugh hysterically.

“You are not escaping from me Michael.  Lay on the bed.  It’s time my love.”

Michael only heard ‘my love’ and instantly turned back toward the bed in a hallucinogenic, zombie-like state.  He laid on the bed naked as Lilith slowly approached.  Her breasts looked absolutely exquisite in the candle light, and her freshly shaven cunt glowed and pulsated with energy.  Michael forgot about his previous desire to leave the room.  He was spellbound by this sex demon.

At the foot of the bed, Lilith slowly crawled toward Michael, seductively licking up each leg in a criss-cross technique.  Her hands wandering and exploring his entire body.  When her face reached his cock he was at full mast and in a blissful state.  Michael looked down at her and he swore she had snake eyes.  Lilith took Michael’s cock in her mouth and he stiffened his body and groaned with pleasure.  Never in his wildest dreams could Michael imagine a feeling being as pleasurable as this.  She slowly bobbed up and down on his cock as she toyed with his ass and balls.  Lilith mounted Michael and inserted him inside her.

“Ahhhhh, ohhhhh,” Michael bellowed.

Michael thought the act of Lilith sucking his cock was the best feeling he had ever felt until he felt the hellfire warmth of her pussy.  He couldn’t believe what was happening.  A part of his brain knew something was off, but the other knew he was fucking, and it felt great.  He opened his eyes to view this serpentine of seduction riding him, and noticed that her eyes were definitely snake eyes.  Her skin began to change in front of him.  The tattoos of demonic symbolism had inter-joined and began creating scales like a snake.  Her body was slimming to that of a slithering evil serpent.  Michael broke from his sex and drug induced state and attempted to unhinge himself from her clutches to no avail.  He was locked in and no escape was feasible.  Lilith was already half evolved into some kind of demonic lizard snake when Michael could not hold back any longer.  He blasted what seemed like gallons of pent-up, virgin cum into her reptilian pussy.  Lilith, relishing in the achievement, bucked with fluid movements, tightening her grip to receive all of his wholesome offering, saying,

“I’ve had a real good time with you Michael.  I think you should meet my dad.”

Micheal had just fucked the Devil’s daughter.  Lilith’s final transformation into a demonic, lizard-like snake was now complete.  Michael was paralyzed in fear and post-coital bliss.  The vice-like embrace tightened and his breath was nonexistent.  His last vision was of those evil snake eyes staring in his, that forked tongue whipping at his cheek, and Lilith’s yellowish fangs.

    It was well over a week before the police entered the house and found the elderly couple mutilated and stuffed in a guest room closet.  Michael’s body was never found.  His parents pray for his return every Sunday.

.

a thunderstorm cloud

always seems to appear

worse when it is far away

an ominous blackening

one which brings to mind

sinister forebodings

feelings of demise

but as it gets closer

emerges upon you

it doesn’t ever really

seem that dark

and once again

you were worried

for naught

I heard stories of you during my childhood

but never did I lay eyes on you for myself

it was not until I was twelve years old

that I first got a glimpse of you

however, I could not fully comprehend

or see you for what you were at that time

then at eighteen our paths crossed again

my narcissism took center stage

and it was all about me

when I encountered you at twenty-eight

my drug haze had me in a blinded state

and everything else was more important

less than a year later

on my twenty-ninth birthday

I saw you face to face

for the first time

I finally understood what everyone

else had said about you all those years

at the age of thirty-five

there you were again

staring into my eyes

forcing me to handle things

I had no experience with

when my wife was sick

I walked the hospital hallways

peering into rooms with open doors

seeing you in many of the faces

at forty-four I was told that you were back

but a global pandemic kept me 

seperated and distant from you

your presence did not seem real or tangible

I know one day we will finally

have our overdue conversation

I will be here when you are ready

on the back patio again

enjoying a top shelf whiskey

and a middle shelf stick

I guess you wonder if I 

ever do anything else

well I do

but half isn’t worth writing about

just working to make

the rich more rich

trying to survive 

there are now four teenage

boys in my living room playing

video games and eating my food

they are my stepson’s friends

I don’t make a habit of 

hanging with teenage boys

that’s part of the reason why I’m

outside trying to enjoy my 

brown stick and fluid

I say trying because

these goddamned flies

are making living hard for me

landing in my hair

on my face

hovering around my drink

just being pests for the sake of it

an ice cream truck just rolled through

playing the anthem of pedophillia

I should go get his contact information

just in case the boys act up tonight

(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)

at a strip club in Theodore, Alabama

white trash

redneck

ambiance

it’s dark

but neon lights illuminate

the toothless meth-heads with tits

“coming to the stage, charlotte”

says the dj

then it is seen

a half naked woman in bra and thong

takes the stage

only one thing

she has one normal arm

and one little chicken wing arm

she tries her best to be sexy

prancing around the stage

then

the pole work begins

she rests her little deformed arm on the pole

and walks around it

normally girls would be

swinging and twirling

my friend pity tips her

I say to myself

this is fucked up

she should be waitressing

at least she has one good arm 

to hold the tray

(Originally published by The Rye Whiskey Review)

hellish environment abound

as the heatwave intensifies

no relief for the camper of the street you say

at least vagabonds can find shade

laborers slave away

dying a little each second

the toil and grind

hacking away at their soul

leaving merely hours in a lifetime

for relaxation and enjoyment

no time to fully recharge

before the thrall resumes

while cold fingers point

and quenched throats command

(Originally published by Mad Swirl)

everyone is familiar with 

the presence of innocence

and grace in the eyes of a child

but if you look hard enough

you can find elegance

in the eyes of a junkie

or a janitor

even a madman

and if you really stare

look at just the right angle

at the perfect time

you can observe the entire

beauty of the whole world

in the eyes of the dying

“hey weirdo” 

the neighbor kid yells 

from across the fence as 

I prepare the grill

I have a brown stick hanging

from my lips and I give him

the ‘horns’ salute

pointer and pinky finger

it’s like an acceptable middle finger

the dog is barking at him

and honestly I don’t blame the animal

the kid goes inside and

the dog loses interest

he comes and lays by the patio

I say, “hey, watch this”

I squirt the half flaming coals

with additional lighter fluid

and the flames rise high with a burst

the dog gets spooked

and runs away from it

“I’m magic” I say to the dog

he’s not impressed

my stepson’s friend just 

arrived to stay the night

no peace will be had

the whiskey will help with that

I have the makeshift blooming

onion on and soon will add 

the filets of hand cut beef tenderloin

I’m sipping Rare Breed and puffing a Padron

it’s a fucking fancy Friday

the kids would probably 

make that a hashtag 

#fancyfriday

I think that’s how it goes

(Originally published by The Beatnik Cowboy)

there was a man from Dublin

he celebrated St. Patrick’s Day

with boatloads of Guinness

he was a catholic who dressed in

scary costumes to ward off

spirits during the festival of Samhain

he listened to music heavy

in fiddle, piano, and acoustic guitar

combined with instruments like Irish

bouzoukis, uilleann pipes, and

celtic harps, known as clairseach

he danced in Irish jigs, reels, and step

he wore wooden shoes and dresses based

on designs found in the Book of Kells

he believed in the banshee

the tales of Fionn Mac Cumhaill

and leprechauns

he loved football and potatoes

he only read literature by

Swift, Yeats, Wilde, Shaw, and Stoker

he was the town weirdo

an outcast

because the man was from

Dublin, Georgia

having some Wild Turkey

and a stick on the back patio

watching cigar reviews

looking at cigar lighters online

I’m having a fairly relaxing night

but these goddamned flies keep pestering me

living around farmland in the summer

can be very fucking aggravating 

I wasn’t supposed to drink tonight

my wife and I were going to try and make

it until Friday until we had a drink

well

it’s Tuesday

she called me after work saying

“I really want a drink.

I’ve had a bad day…

…these new procedures with this pandemic…

…added another to my schedule.”

okay, I thought

you don’t have to sell me

she had me at ‘drink’

gives me a good reason to smoke a cigar

but now the goddamned flies are making

my relaxing time almost unbearable

swarming my head like a rotting corpse

I’ve already found two dead

floating in the glass

they went out like men

well, I really don’t know

the anatomy of flies

so it could have been

a little cutie trying

to get my sweet nectar

…so now I’m sexualizing flies?

with the ambiguities of fly fucking

I guess I’m done for the night

the stick’s about burnt

the drink nearly drained

and dinner has probably

been done an hour ago

my grandmother

my dad’s mom

the matriarch of that side

outliving everyone around her age

and an immense of younger as well 

to date

two of her own kids

my father and his older brother

today I went to see her in the hospital

the last time I went

a week earlier

she was carrying on

laughing

talking

bitching

loving

full of life

an ill

worn down

weak life

but a life nonetheless

today was not that life

today I looked into

the eyes of death

a scared

confused

restless existence

her mouth moving

but no words exited

the eyes peered

with no focus or comprehension

constant jerking and restlessness

futile as the arms and legs

were bound to the bed 

that would be enough

to drive me mad in itself

I told her that I loved her

I asked if she was in pain

I told her to tell us

anyway she could

if she was in pain

her constant jerking

the blank stares

the mouth movements

were probably saying just that

(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)

Upon the bed listening to Coltrane, drunk and bored. That had been a common occurrence for a while since she’d left. The old lady had been gone for about two months. She had taken everything but the records, record player, and my nuts. The nuts, she tried to take, but had too many of her own to carry. The bottle seemed empty enough to me to take a walk down to the local bar. I stood as best as I could, wobbly, but determined. I’ll find a new bitch, I thought, as I struggled to make said thought. Who would be the lucky one to take me home and feel my semi-hard six inches. I looked in the mirror and saw a king, but in actuality I was nothing more than an ugly, fat, drunk, loser. Who would be so lucky? Then it dawned on me. That bitch didn’t take my gun. I should just end it now. What is life, but a waiting room for the afterlife? And if it wasn’t, who would know any different? I approached the dresser, pulled the second drawer, and grabbed the revolver.

    I sat on the edge of the bed holding the cold steel in my hand, as it rested on my leg. I stared down at the inanimate object and blurry thoughts raced through my mind. This mechanism has been used to start and finish wars, protect, rob, rape, murder, and maim. Would this particular device be my problem solver, or was this just a cowardly cop out? I slowly lifted the small, but heavy piece, and rested the end of the barrel to my temple. I had heard in the past of some not dying from the temple shot, so I relocated the barrel under my chin. This was it, I thought, as my finger stiffened on the trigger. It was an easier feeling that I would have imagined it being. The hammer, as well as this world, began to slowly move away from me.  

When I reached about six of the total eight pounds of trigger pull needed, ‘Moments Notice’ ended, and the record player needle moved toward the center hole. Goddamn, my stylus will be ruined, I thought. I retracted my tension on the trigger, threw the gun on the bed, and ran toward the player. I killed the power and placed the tonearm back in it’s cradle. I gave a slight chuckle under my breath and thought, I need a drink. I emptied the last few drops from the bottle beside the bed, put on some clothes that were laying around, and headed out into the night. 

As I walked, I swayed from one side of the sidewalk to the other. It was a cold, crisp night and there was a slight breeze. I looked around at the trees blowing in the wind, the cars passing, the few people out and about, and I thought, I could make it one more night. It was a fairly long walk to the bar. I had never been there, but had driven past it numerous times. I just figured it was a little too country for my liking, plus booze was cheaper and more plentiful when you got it from a liquor store.

 I finally arrived at the entrance. It was a simple, square building, no windows, with only a glowing red neon sign that touted bar. I entered and all eyes turned to see the next lonely soul at the depressing watering hole. My thoughts of this establishment being too country for me was proven ten fold. Old country music played and smoke filled the unventilated room. At least old country music was better than this new form of bastardized country mixing elements of pop, hip hop and rock, I thought. Old country music reminded me of my youth, as my grandparents listened to it.  Also, it was easy to drink to. 

There were only a few people in there. An older couple sat at a table in the corner kissing and rubbing one another. Two old drunks sat at the bar slouched and disconnected. The unneeded barmaid sat at one table smoking cigarettes and fiddling on her phone, while a gray haired man tended the bar and watched a boxing match with the sound turned down. 

Then I noticed something I found completely out of place. A gorgeous, dark-haired, middle aged woman sat at the end of the bar sipping a martini. I was shocked to see such an attractive woman in there, and even more so that martinis were served. She had on a green dress that clung to her body, leaving very little to the imagination. The dress rode up as she crossed her legs, unveiling smooth, white, succulent extremities. The front of her dress protruded out from the large breasts just under the shear material. It was dark, but not dark enough to notice the absence of a bra.

    I took one of the many empty spots at the bar between the old drunks and the beautiful woman. The barkeep turned from the television and asked, “Whattaya have?” “Whiskey with a splash of water,” I responded, as I continued to survey my surroundings. From my angle I could see everyone in the bar. The older couple in the corner were really getting at it now. It appeared the man had his hand running up her leg and under her skirt. She was giggling and squirming with a hold on his stick. The barmaid, still smoking, got up, walked behind the bar, and fixed herself a whiskey sour. “Good choice,” I said, and smiled. She gave me a look of repulsion, shook her head, and returned to her seat. She appeared to be in her mid-forties, hard lines from a hard life. Her body showed signs of wear and abuse, although her ass had held up nice, as the cut-off jean shorts highlighted her posterior.

In the mirror behind the bar, the two old drunks slogging away at their beers and the barkeep now back to the match. Green dress was the one I really had an eye on though. I nipped at my rotgut and kept giving smiles and eyes to the goddess in green. She nodded, smiled, and held up her drink. I held my drink up as well, but it was to tell the barkeep that I had drained it and I was in dire need of his professional services. He seemed agitated but obliged my request. He slid the glass of brown death in front of me and returned to seemingly hold up the bar. The older couple couldn’t stand it any longer and stood up to leave before they started fucking in front of us all. The man had a hard on and the woman’s skirt was so high that I got a tiny peek of her cunt before she pulled it down. Green dress also noticed this and we smiled at one another.

I observed that her drink was getting low so I told the barkeep, “Hey. One for the pretty lady.” She raised her glass at me once more and smiled. She crossed her legs and I got an exquisite view of creamy, thick, delicious thigh meat. Blood started flowing down to and through my little neglected member. It had been what seemed like a year since I had been with a woman sexually. Toward the end of my last relationship I just had no drive, no interest, and the feelings were obviously mutual. About that time one of the drunks leaned way over and said, “Kid, don’t mess with her. She’s an alien.” I laughed, but his face remained stone-like. “I hear you old man,” I responded. “Look kid, I’m not bullshitting you. She’s a goddamn alien,” said the old drunk once more. “You’re fucking drunk or crazy, or both,” I said. I looked at green dress, looked down at her thighs, her legs, her tits, her hair, turned back towards the old drunk and said, “Leave me the fuck alone old man.”

I motioned to the barkeep for another drink for myself and green dress. I told him, “Send them over there.” I pointed toward green dress, got off my stool, and walked toward her. “May I sit with you?” I asked. She nodded in acceptance. I pulled the stool out to sit down and was finally able to get a close up of that body. It was better than I had originally thought. Those legs were spectacular with the green dress riding high up on her thighs. Her tits were big, but absolutely perfect. They looked firm, with nipples that stared back at me, as I at them. She had a slight pudge, a pooch of a gut, which I absolutely adored, and found extremely sexy.

     “Getting a good look?” she asked. “Fuck yes, I am,” I acknowledged. Fuck yes I was. We both laughed a bit and started in on our new drinks. She asked a lot of questions about me, about my past, about my thoughts of my future. The drink was in me so I was honest. I told her of my unlucky streak with women, with jobs, with cops, with everything really. I told her of constant ridicule by women, by bosses, by cops, by everyone really. I spoke of both of my parents dying young and how that had made me lose faith in this fucked up world all together. She was a great listener, as she only until now had been asking questions. Finally, I snapped out of what seemed to be a hypnotized state, and said, “Shit. Enough about me. Why are you in this place?” She grinned and said, “I’m having some drinks.” I shook my head, grinned, and said, “No, really though. Why are you in this small town in this shitty bar? It just doesn’t add up.” It didn’t add up. I’d never seen anyone so stunning in this entire region, most less this small town. “I am just traveling through,” she said. “Alone?” I asked. “For now. I am actually looking for someone.” “Well, I hope you find them,” I said, as I took a long pull from my whiskey. “Shit, what’s your name?” I asked. “Barbara,” she said, as a smile overtook her face. “Excuse me, I have to go to the ladies room.” “Of course,” I said. She got up from her stool and I finally got a chance to see that green dress hug the shape of a perfect round ass as she walked away from me. The old drunk looked at me with abhorrence and shook his head. I smiled and gave him a wink.

Barbara was gone for what seemed like an eternity. I finished my drink and thought she had left, but realized there were no windows in this place. Did she slip by me and out the door, I thought? No. It couldn’t be. This was a relatively small place so there was no chance of that. Just then, Barbara returned looking sexier than ever to me. The dress seemed shorter than before, her legs, tits, ass, and pooch all seemed sexier.  Shit, I was just drunk, I thought. I was glad to see her return though. This was the best thing to happen to me in years, maybe ever. This seemed way too good to be true. How can an ugly, out of work, fat, drunk like me, pull some hot piece of ass like this, I thought? Oh well, I wasn’t looking in any horse’s mouth that had a gift for me. Hell, I was due, I thought. I knew someday something good had to happen for me. It was just a matter of percentage and chance I always said. I tried to stay positive, but sometimes that was just impossible.

    Then Barbara grabbed my hand, put it on her upper thigh and placed her hand firmly between my thigh and cock. She leaned in for a kiss and I also leaned into it. Our lips met and fireworks went off in my mind as her tongue explored my mouth. She tasted sweeter than any cake, candy, or pie I had remembered, with a mix of salty brine and gin. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. “I have a place not far from here,” I said. Barbara paid both of our tabs and we walked out into the cold night. “I walked here,” I said, with slight embarrassment. “That’s okay, we’ll walk back then,” she said.

On the walk we couldn’t keep our hands off one another. I felt as if I was in a dream. This is too good to be true, I thought. It was happening so I was going with it. We finally reached my place and I was shaking with anticipation trying to get the key in the hole. As soon as we entered the house we were like caged animals getting out of cages for the first time. It was carnal. It was freeing. It was pure unadulterated lust. I took hold of the bottom of her green dress, and with one motion, pulled it up over her head exposing the most gorgeous body in the universe. Her body was more exceptional naked than clothed, even though the dress hugged every curve. 

I had finally reached my nirvana. Things were looking up. Moments ago, I was milliseconds from death at my own hand, and now was about to penetrate the goddess of my dreams. Life works in mysterious ways, I thought, as I tongued her mouth and grabbed handfuls of ripe tit meat and voluptuous ass. She was the best kisser I had ever experienced. Her tongue seemed to do magic in my mouth. Her body was warm, soft, and moved in rhythmic pulses that made me hard as a rock. The moment was perfect.

Barbara didn’t seem to mind the fat, hairy gut that I had been working on for years with bad eating and good drinking. She continued to explore my mouth with her tongue and my body with her hands. At times it seemed as if she had more than one tongue and more than two hands. She pulled from my mouth and began kissing down my chest, down my stomach, through all the hair, until she reached my hard, throbbing, neglected cock. She sucked. Oh my fucking god did she suck. At times it seemed as if my ass, balls, and cock were getting appropriate attention. I did not question such good feelings. I mean, I had been drinking all night, so my concept of reality must be skewed, right? I laid across the bed experiencing feelings that I had never felt in the past. “Holy shit! How are you doing that?” She said nothing, but the bliss of inherent multiple tongues continued. 

The oral pleasure of heaven ceased; and while I was disappointed for a brief second, the disappointment soon subsided. She climbed atop and straddled my cock for a mesmerizing ride. Her cunt, wet as the Gulf of Mexico, slid down upon my awaiting, throbbing member. “Oh shit!” I let out in a lustful groan. How can she be so wet, feel so good, and be into me, I thought? That thought didn’t last long as I began stroking. I gripped her ass cheeks, put a tit in my mouth, and pounded the sexy specimen. 

It felt as if I were a god for the moment. All the years of ridicule and rejection had led me to this, I thought, as I lay pipe like a king. She moaned like a creature from another world and released fluid on me that I had never experienced. Everything was wet. Sounds of sloshing and moans of lust overtook my senses. I could not take it any longer as I exploded in her like a volcano waiting to erupt after years of dormancy. “Fuck!” I yelled, as if my cock was on fire. It felt as if I released gallons of cum deep inside her. Barbara kept riding, receiving every drop of my offering to her. 

    “Shit,” I said, as I laid there, sweaty, and drained. “How was it for you?” “It was perfect,” she said, rolling from me to lay in coital bliss. “I couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Now you have to come with me,” she said. “Give me a minute, I can’t go again yet. I need time to rest and reload,” I said. “No, not cum as in ejaculate, come as in go with me,” she said. “I’m tired babygirl, can’t we just sleep here?” “You aren’t seeming to understand. I have traveled many light years to get to you. Many years of exploring, investigating, and research have led me to you. You have to come back with me.” “Where are you from, California?” I asked, half joking, but half fucking freaking out. “No. I am from the Kapsatian galaxy and I was sent here to find a human king.” I laughed with hesitation and disbelief, and said, “Quit fucking with me. Either you are fucking with me, or you are out of your mind bat shit crazy.” She gave me a look from her not-of-this-world, deepest of the sea-like blue eyes that told me that she was neither fucking with me nor bat shit crazy. 

At that moment I knew that old drunk fucker was telling the truth. I was scared, uneasy, and I didn’t know what to do or say. All I could muster up was, “So what does all this mean?” She looked at me as if she was in love and said, “It means that you are now free. It means that you are now our king. We have been watching you for some time now. Who do you think stopped you from pulling that trigger earlier?” Now on a scale of creepiness, I was at a ten. I started shaking, convulsing, and I think I almost had a heart attack. This shit just does not happen. I now knew that this bitch was a fucking alien. There was no way for her to have known that. I heard that she said king, but all I envisioned was being some intergalactic slave that was probed and raped via the anus on an hourly basis. 

“I feel that you are scared. I sense that,” she said. “But there is nothing to worry about.” “Okay, so now what?” I asked. “Well, now we go home, have a huge welcoming ceremony, and begin your reign.” “Reign?” I asked with confusion. She touched my cock, smiled, and said, “Yes, reign. As in king. Haven’t you heard what I’ve been saying? You will be our king. You are the chosen one.” “So what does king entail?” I asked. Not sure what I was about to hear, but knowing at this point I didn’t have a fucking choice. “Being king entails whatever you want. Your only duty as king is to give us offspring like you just did with me.” I knew she was on the level now but something inside me was still ambivalent. I guess that I was just a human and expected the worst case scenario at all times. “Come, it’s time,” she said. 

A warmth overtook me as I lay naked and sweaty in my bed. Without warning, a light engulfed me and I experienced a tremendous burning from within. It felt as if I was being ripped apart at my core. There was no sound, just heat and pressure. It seemed to last about a full minute. Then the burning ceased and I was in a hazy void. 

My hearing started to come back. I heard rumbles of cheering. All female voices. The haze lifted and thousands of naked aliens were cheering my arrival. All of the aliens were absolutely beautiful. Some blonde, some brunette, some redhead; all curvaceous and oozing sensuality. I had a feeling of home and belonging. Barbara was at my side and numerous well built naked aliens greeted her by kneeling and bowing. 

“This is our king,” she said to the masses. A roar of feminine fertility could be heard for miles. It was a deafening sound, but I could somehow feel the admiration and subservient nature of the masses. One by one, each came to greet me as I sat on a throne of some rare, precious space metal. I could not pick a favorite because all were sexy and perfect to my human mind. I sat there being adorned and thought, I knew something good was in store for me, but I would have never guessed to this extent.

    The greetings and ceremony seemed to last for a day as I met my followers and heard stories of their patience in waiting for me. I was tired, needed some sleep, and time to take all of this in. Barbara sensed this and said, “Come, I’ll show you our quarters. You need your rest. You will soon have a lot of work to do.”

    We rode odd creatures much like horses on earth, although they appeared nothing of the sort, to a huge mansion atop a hill. It was spectacular and elegant.  I’ve never encountered anything so opulent or breathtaking on earth, in person, or on television. I was in complete disbelief and awe. A large drawbridge opened and we entered into the main living area. It was stunning and prodigious. I actually had a tear run down my cheek as I tried to take it all in. Metals, gems, and stones that I never knew existed were the building blocks of everything around me. 

Barbara took me to our bedroom, and said, “Get some rest, but if you need anything ring this bell and the servants will get you whatever you want.” The bed was smooth and softer than any I could have dreamt in my head. I wondered what this material was. I had a lot to get used to in my new surroundings and my new home. 

I rang the bell.

A gorgeous, blonde alien with an hourglass shape and spectacular breasts bowed and asked, “What do you need your majesty?”

“I need a fucking drink!”

on the back patio once again

Canadian Glencarin half full of

one hundred and one proof bird

a middle-shelf stick in hand

perusing a paper cigar catalog

a rainstorm just passed

and a rainbow illuminates itself

another fine time to be alive

but the tranquility and peacefulness

that I should feel is interrupted

first by my beast of a dog

barking at the neighbors

then by these goddamned flies

crashing into my head

landing on me

and in my drink

I guess I should start bringing a

saucer outside with me

to place atop my glass

now there’s sirens in the distance

crackles of thunder close by

a fly in my drink

and

the 

rainbow 

is 

gone

…so much for a relaxing evening