(Not the best start)

it is inconceivable to feel joyous

when your wife says that

she would rather die than

experience the pain that she feels

a profound and deep-rooted

sadness envelopes my being

as the one I love can only

get out of bed to constantly 

empty her bowels or vomit

the feast I am cooking

will be eaten solely by me

as she can not keep anything down

even the smell which is exquisite

makes her nauseous and ill

constant fever, sweats, and

gut wrenching misery plague her

neither the meal nor whiskey

taste as they should

my somber heart weeps

for this once tenacious

independent woman tormented

by this heinous and malicious disease

I wish I could share the pain

to give even a sliver of relief

I feel so hopeless

yet hopeful 

for a

‘happy’ new year