(First published poem from the early 1990’s for some school related book or something like that)


…poems, stories, and mediocre musings
(First published poem from the early 1990’s for some school related book or something like that)



with his thumb and pointer finger
he spread her ass cheeks
exposing the puckered region
he leaned forward and nestled
his nose squarely atop her brown eye
he inhaled deeply to take in the aroma
it didn’t smell as bad as he’d thought
as a matter of fact
it smelled pretty good to him
he sniffed subtle
overtones of sweat and
scents of animalistic pheromones
as well as feces
this made him beastly horny
his cock stiffened and he wanted
nothing more than to plunge
his member deep inside her
but he halted
as much as desire and instinct
told him to take her right then and there
he knew that he should call the
coroner and give his grandmother
the respect in passing
that she deserved
(Originally published by The Beatnik Cowboy)

a mosquito hawk walks across the table
as stir-fry is on the stove
my glass is not yet empty
so I’ll attempt to write something
a pretentious
fantastical
far-fetched show
about one guy trying to find
love from 30 or so different women
is on the television in the next room
this show has always struck me as
implausible and doltish
we are giving one man
30 women to choose from
all bidding for attention and
throwing themselves at him
such a foolhardy and asinine scenario
this show that numerous women watch
baffles me because this same man
on any given Saturday night
would bend over backwards to
bend over any one of these women
but now because of the cameras
and game show backdrop
he is king shit with the king dick
able to choose his perfect mate
but in actuality
a man goes out hoping he gets to fuck
a woman leaves the house
knowing whether or not
she is getting fucked
it’s just so disheartening and counterfeit
my drink is drained
the stir-fry needs to be stirred
the mosquito hawk is nowhere in site
(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)

I stayed with my grandparents
a lot as a young child.
my grandmother was a very
liberal person when it came
to the human body.
she would get undressed
in front of me, and allow me to
look at my grandfather’s
playboys while he was at work.
she would be in the bed reading,
and I would be at the foot of the
bed not reading the articles.
at night I slept in between
my grandparents in the bed.
on one occasion, my grandfather
was working the graveyard shift
at the paper mill, and it was
just me and my grandmother.
we got into bed and I put
my little leg across her’s
as I usually did at night.
however, this time
something strange happened,
and I said to my grandmother,
“Nana, you make my lizard long”
silence…
she was either thinking ‘it’s time
he sleeps in another room’ or,
‘shit, I still got it’

Leonardo DaVinci was a prolific
engineer
inventor
painter of some of the
most famous masterpieces
of all time
a true testament
to genius and dedication
but most aren’t familiar
with his lesser known twin brother
Leonard DaVinci
when asked about his achievements
he was quoted by saying
“I just smoke Pall Malls,
drink Schlitz, and fuck bitches.
My brother is a lame. He’s always
tinkering with some shit
in the shed out back.”
(Originally published by Terror House Magazine)

Kyle was trying to finish up a job in his backyard shop, when he remembered the new saw blade that he bought from the box store was still inside the house. He was anxious to try out this latest purchase. The associate in the tool section sold him on the cutting performance of the blade with 80 teeth. Kyle had always used a blade with 68 teeth, but decided to pay a little extra based on the steadfast recommendation.
As he exited the shop and headed toward his back door, he heard a faint, high-pitched, chirping noise, coming from beside a large oak tree. Kyle went to investigate the sound and noticed a tiny baby squirrel lying almost motionless at the base of the tree. He knelt down beside the injured squirrel to get a better look at it. Its eyes were closed, and it was taking very rapid, short breaths. Kyle assumed that it must have fallen out of the tree. He looked up, trying to spot a nest or the mother of the wounded squirrel, but saw nothing. Kyle hated to see the hapless animal suffering, but wasn’t sure how he could help it.
The animal let out another pain-filled screech and barely opened its eyes. Kyle looked into the eyes of the dying squirrel and knew that he had to do something. He retrieved a cardboard box from his shop and placed it beside the squirrel to block the scorching sunlight. Kyle went inside to get a bottle of water and his phone. He poured a small amount of water onto the squirrel in an attempt to cool it off and make its suffering a little more bearable. Then, he pulled out his phone and searched, what to do if you find a dying baby squirrel.
A plethora of information appeared on the screen. Kyle quickly scanned the top few results, and the overwhelming answer was to contact wildlife rescue and rehabilitation. He then searched, wildlife rescue and rehabilitation near me. The closest location was over 30 miles away, but he clicked the number to call. The phone rang five times, then a recording started. Thank you for calling Dawn Lakes Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation, we are currently closed. If you would like to…
Kyle hung up the phone and knelt beside the squirrel once more. A white foam-like substance was beginning to flow from its mouth, and the breathing appeared to be even more labored than before. He knew he had to end the suffering of this poor animal, but the thought alone gave Kyle extreme anxiety. He recalled a time, hunting with his grandfather, when he had a perfect shot on a deer, but just couldn’t pull the trigger. His grandfather called him a worthless pansy, and later told Kyle’s father that he failed to raise a man.
Kyle went into his shop and looked around for something that would make it quick and painless. After slight deliberation, Kyle decided on the flat shovel. He made his way to the squirrel and looked down upon it. He knew that this was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. His heart began to beat fast and his hands trembled. He knew he had to get it right the first time, as to not prolong its agony. Kyle gripped the handle of the shovel, raised it high over the squirrel, and brought it down with a forceful chop. The shovel hit its mark, bisecting the animal in half, leaving a portion of the carcass in the ground with the square end of the tool.
A feeling of overwhelming malaise and sadness engulfed his being, and tears began to form in the corners of his eyes. With the handle still clutched, Kyle snatched the shovel from the dirt, leaving two separate pieces of the squirrel’s body. He scooped the pieces up and shoveled them into the box. Kyle then took the box behind his shop, dug a hole, and buried the dead squirrel. After the last of the dirt filled in the little grave, he stood over the mound and said a prayer.
Kyle really didn’t feel like finishing the work now, but thought that it might be a good way to take his mind off of the previous lamentable events. He walked inside to get the new saw blade, still unnerved from the experience. Back in his shop, he opened the package, affixed it to the saw, wiped the remaining tears from his eyes, and continued dismembering the blonde prostitute for disposal.
As blood sprayed and flesh and bone were severed, Kyle thought to himself, that fella at the store was right. Those extra teeth do make a huge difference.

took a few days off from the
everyday drudgery and toil
Saturday night
my wife and I stayed outside the city
hung with a buddy of roughly 25 years
it was nice to catch up
we are all getting old
a weathered and battered
version of what once was
…so is rotting
leaving the hotel to see him
my gun fell to the elevator floor
I literally shit a .38
I knew it was going to happen when
it dropped to my crotch area
I say, “sorry gentlemen, I’m a
concealed carry holder.”
I look to my wife
“I thought you clipped it to my belt.”
Luckily there were no kids
or ballpark moms in the
elevator at that time
only a half-drunk ballpark
dad swaying, saying,
“I’m a permit holder, too.”
as well as a large
‘I know it all’ type personality
who barked, “I’m from Texas,
that shit don’t bother me.”
followed by their contrived talk
of firearms for the next 8 seconds
once in the car
we laughed like loonies
later that night
we had 2 spinach salads
with no spinach
Sunday
we attended Zydeco fest
we stood and sat in the sweltering
humid heat under a cypress tree
listening to French-Cajun music
her glistening and me dripping
we walked to the creole tomato
festival in the French Market
a festival dedicated to a
fruit disguised as a vegetable
heard rather blah versions
of both jazz and blues
we perused vendors from afar
peddling mostly mass-marketed wares
a literal cooking as the
national heatwave intensifies
casually strolled past numerous
seemingly dead people on the street
we stop to admire a building
with spectacular architecture
as a man’s cocknballs hung out of
his gym shorts as he lie
sleeping or dead in the entryway
it turns out
it was the Supreme Court building
Sunday night
while waiting on a
food order to be ready
I had another drink I did not need
less than a block away from
leaving the restaurant
the bottom of the the bag gave way
spilling red beans and
gumbo on the wretched sidewalk
drunk and pissed
a condoling onlooker ‘awed’ a
sad face as I salvaged what I could
you can’t cry over spilled gumbo
you can however
drunkenly curse and fume
Monday
we partook a guided tour
the only legal entrance
to St. Louise #1
one of the oldest above ground
continually active cemeteries
dating back to the early 1800’s
dragging and smothering
triple digit heat index
sweating profusely
agitated
I didn’t take a photo of
Marie Laveau’s tomb
however
there is rich history there
as well as the literal
faint smell of death
during one stroll through the city
we noticed a large family of 5
bust into a sprint down the sidewalk
we thought it may have been the smell
of urine or feces or possibly
a dead addict on the sidewalk
but they were only trying to catch
the St. Charles streetcar
Tuesday night
we attended a
show at Preservation hall
a quaint and intimate experience
jazz musicians putting in work
geniuses in action
as I begin this piece
12 stories in the sky
sirens scream and howl
someone somewhere
is fighting to live
or fighting to die

.


(Originally published by Terror House Magazine)

Guy opened the door to Clyde’s, surveyed his surroundings, and took a stool at the bar. Being a Tuesday night, only a smattering of patrons were present. It was a fairly upscale establishment that would probably be packed with the office crowd in the evenings, and socialite types on the weekends. The bartender casually made his way over to Guy.
“What can I get for you?”
“I’ll just start with a draft beer for now, thanks.”
The bartender returned with the beer and placed it in front of Guy.
“Would you like to start a tab? If not, it’ll be $4.50.”
Guy peeled off a ten dollar bill and slid it toward the bartender.
“Keep the change. Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Whatcha got?”
“I was wondering if you know anything about a fella by the name of Barry Jacobson.”
He obviously knew something about Barry by the perplexing look that he gave Guy. The bartender appeared visibly shaken by the mention of this name. He looked down and shook his head back and forth, before putting the money in the register and returning to face Guy.
“Obviously you haven’t heard. Hell, where do I start? Yeah, Barry came in here once or twice a week on average. That is until….”
The bartender reached for a pack of smokes, pulled one out, lit it, and continued.
“…well, until the bloodbath happened. Barry was arrested for the murder of his wife. But it wasn’t just your typical ‘husband kills wife’ murder. No, it was much more gruesome than that. It was all over the local news. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it. That poor woman was tortured, then basically gutted and dismembered. They said it looked like a scene straight from a horror movie.”
He asked the few patrons that were spaced out across the bar if they needed anything. Then he took a drink from a glass that was under the bar, a long draw off his cigarette, and turned back toward Guy.
“I couldn’t believe it personally. I mean, I wasn’t friends with Barry or anything, but he was a very personable guy. Not one that you would think could do some horrific shit like that. But that’s just it. He vehemently claimed his innocence, but the police and detectives found no forcible entry, no evidence of anyone else at the scene, and it definitely wasn’t a suicide. The investigators only found her blood on him and throughout the house and his bloody footprints. He said that it was from him finding her like that, and that he was passed out drunk during the killing. Personally, when I saw his interview on the news, he seemed believable, but there just isn’t another logical explanation. You ready sir?”
The bartender cashed out an older gentleman, thanked him for coming in, took another long pull from his cigarette and proceeded with the story.
“I mean, it was none of my business, but I did see him in here with different women from time to time. I never saw his wife with him, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he would kill her. Although, all signs do point to him. You can’t argue with evidence, circumstantial or not. I would have never guessed that he was capable of such a thing, especially seeing his interview before they arrested him. He’s got some real good acting chops, aside from his story and all.”
“Story?” Guy asked, as he slid his empty glass away from him.
“Oh, goddamn! Yes, his story. That’s the best part. If this kind of shit could have a best part. Not only did he say that he was passed out drunk, and woke to find her like that, but he claimed that a ghost had to have killed her. Do you believe that shit? Needless to say, the detectives didn’t put an APB out on Casper for the killings.”
The bartender started laughing, but quickly regained his composure.
“I’m sorry. Hell, I shouldn’t laugh. A beautiful young woman is dead, but holy shit, you’d think he would have thought that out a little more. You know what I’m saying?”
Guy nodded in agreement and said, “I know what you mean. So is he in jail now?”
“Jail? Hell no.They locked that crazy animal up at the Bellmore Institution. That’s worse than any maximum security prison that you could think of. That’s where they put the criminally insane. The absolute dregs of society are in that place. If you end up there, you aren’t getting out. There’s no parole or anything like that at the Bellmore. Rumor has it that they still do horrendous experimental treatments there. It’s basically legal torture. However, nobody really knows. No one has ever come out of there alive to tell about it. So, did you know Barry?”
“Yeah, Barry was my business partner a few years back and we became quite good friends. We started a software company together then sold it for a fairly hefty price. We were living the dream, smoking good cigars and drinking the finest whiskeys. They left us on as consultants and things couldn’t have been any better. That is, until I found out that Barry was having an ongoing affair with my wife.”
“Holy shit. That had to be a blow to you,”
“You can say that again. I went absolutely crazy. I felt like my whole world crumbled, and I couldn’t trust anyone anymore.”
“Damn man. I’m sorry to hear that. I guess the news about Barry fooling around doesn’t come as a complete shock to you then. But hey, you’re doing a hell of a lot better than him now. You have that going for you.”
“Yeah, everything worked out the way it should’ve,” Guy said, with a slight grin.
“So did you divorce your wife after you found out?”
“No. I killed myself.”
Guy got up from his stool, walked out of the bar, and disappeared into the street.
(Originally published by The Beatnik Cowboy)


(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)



