I was talking with my wife one night
while preparing food in the kitchen
my Grandpa that died of cancer
in 1988 came up in conversation
he had a tracheotomy
but didn’t get one of those
creepy robotic throat devices
I recounted to my wife
that the doctors told him to
drink beer and burp his words to talk
this brought up a memory that my mom
relayed to me years later
a few days before he died
he burped the words ‘good night’
before going to bed
I then proceeded to practice myself
swallowing air and burping words
I burped the phrase ‘I love you’ perfectly
realizing my new found gift
I then said to my wife
“if I ever have to get a tracheotomy,
I could still talk to you fairly well”
she said, “I hope that doesn’t happen”
I said, “I know, I hope I never have to
get a tracheotomy either”
she said, “no…talk”
Gloomy Forebodings 