I was at work today
dying slowly in the massive
soul-sucking sauna
also known as a warehouse
I was about to step foot
inside the office to bask
in the orgasmic air conditioning
when I heard two female voices
out back behind thin roll up doors
I walked over to see what two
fifty-something crackheads talk about
it started off innocent enough
with one wretched degenerate
telling the other to eat something
“I ain’t hungry!
Mike asked me if I wanted a
burger and I told him no”
the other’s response was
“you are so far up
his ass it’s pathetic”
I was expecting something
about this Mike character as a retort
but was not prepared to hear what came next
the crackhead that is presumably up Mike’s ass said
“I could tell you something right now
but you would think I was crazy”
a slight pause
“go ahead then, tell it”
“I’ve got people living in my mattress
not under my bed
but inside my mattress
my kids said if I come home
they are gonna put me in the hospital
…they think I’m crazy”
I turned to go inside the office and
politely with the utmost respect whispered
“oh bitch, you are”
