(Mid 90’s)


…poems, stories, and mediocre musings
(Mid 90’s)
(Early 90’s)
I entered the dark room
without making a sound
not to startle anyone
that may have been sleeping
the only light came from the
full moon shining through the window
I could see the silhouette
of a naked women in front of me
her shape was of the perfect nature
I softly asked her name
she said it was Perplexity
I asked her where
she got her name from
sarcastically to my surprise
she did not know
(From 1992 with a few new edits)
(Original published by Horror Sleaze Trash)
A few edits
(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)
(First published poem from the early 1990’s for some school related book or something like that)
with his thumb and pointer finger
he spread her ass cheeks
exposing the puckered region
he leaned forward and nestled
his nose squarely atop her brown eye
he inhaled deeply to take in the aroma
it didn’t smell as bad as he’d thought
as a matter of fact
it smelled pretty good to him
he sniffed subtle
overtones of sweat and
scents of animalistic pheromones
as well as feces
this made him beastly horny
his cock stiffened and he wanted
nothing more than to plunge
his member deep inside her
but he halted
as much as desire and instinct
told him to take her right then and there
he knew that he should call the
coroner and give his grandmother
the respect in passing
that she deserved
(Originally published by The Beatnik Cowboy)
a mosquito hawk walks across the table
as stir-fry is on the stove
my glass is not yet empty
so I’ll attempt to write something
a pretentious
fantastical
far-fetched show
about one guy trying to find
love from 30 or so different women
is on the television in the next room
this show has always struck me as
implausible and doltish
we are giving one man
30 women to choose from
all bidding for attention and
throwing themselves at him
such a foolhardy and asinine scenario
this show that numerous women watch
baffles me because this same man
on any given Saturday night
would bend over backwards to
bend over any one of these women
but now because of the cameras
and game show backdrop
he is king shit with the king dick
able to choose his perfect mate
but in actuality
a man goes out hoping he gets to fuck
a woman leaves the house
knowing whether or not
she is getting fucked
it’s just so disheartening and counterfeit
my drink is drained
the stir-fry needs to be stirred
the mosquito hawk is nowhere in site
(Originally published by Horror Sleaze Trash)
I stayed with my grandparents
a lot as a young child.
my grandmother was a very
liberal person when it came
to the human body.
she would get undressed
in front of me, and allow me to
look at my grandfather’s
playboys while he was at work.
she would be in the bed reading,
and I would be at the foot of the
bed not reading the articles.
at night I slept in between
my grandparents in the bed.
on one occasion, my grandfather
was working the graveyard shift
at the paper mill, and it was
just me and my grandmother.
we got into bed and I put
my little leg across her’s
as I usually did at night.
however, this time
something strange happened,
and I said to my grandmother,
“Nana, you make my lizard long”
silence…
she was either thinking ‘it’s time
he sleeps in another room’ or,
‘shit, I still got it’
Leonardo DaVinci was a prolific
engineer
inventor
painter of some of the
most famous masterpieces
of all time
a true testament
to genius and dedication
but most aren’t familiar
with his lesser known twin brother
Leonard DaVinci
when asked about his achievements
he was quoted by saying
“I just smoke Pall Malls,
drink Schlitz, and fuck bitches.
My brother is a lame. He’s always
tinkering with some shit
in the shed out back.”
(Originally published by Terror House Magazine)
Kyle was trying to finish up a job in his backyard shop, when he remembered the new saw blade that he bought from the box store was still inside the house. He was anxious to try out this latest purchase. The associate in the tool section sold him on the cutting performance of the blade with 80 teeth. Kyle had always used a blade with 68 teeth, but decided to pay a little extra based on the steadfast recommendation.
As he exited the shop and headed toward his back door, he heard a faint, high-pitched, chirping noise, coming from beside a large oak tree. Kyle went to investigate the sound and noticed a tiny baby squirrel lying almost motionless at the base of the tree. He knelt down beside the injured squirrel to get a better look at it. Its eyes were closed, and it was taking very rapid, short breaths. Kyle assumed that it must have fallen out of the tree. He looked up, trying to spot a nest or the mother of the wounded squirrel, but saw nothing. Kyle hated to see the hapless animal suffering, but wasn’t sure how he could help it.
The animal let out another pain-filled screech and barely opened its eyes. Kyle looked into the eyes of the dying squirrel and knew that he had to do something. He retrieved a cardboard box from his shop and placed it beside the squirrel to block the scorching sunlight. Kyle went inside to get a bottle of water and his phone. He poured a small amount of water onto the squirrel in an attempt to cool it off and make its suffering a little more bearable. Then, he pulled out his phone and searched, what to do if you find a dying baby squirrel.
A plethora of information appeared on the screen. Kyle quickly scanned the top few results, and the overwhelming answer was to contact wildlife rescue and rehabilitation. He then searched, wildlife rescue and rehabilitation near me. The closest location was over 30 miles away, but he clicked the number to call. The phone rang five times, then a recording started. Thank you for calling Dawn Lakes Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation, we are currently closed. If you would like to…
Kyle hung up the phone and knelt beside the squirrel once more. A white foam-like substance was beginning to flow from its mouth, and the breathing appeared to be even more labored than before. He knew he had to end the suffering of this poor animal, but the thought alone gave Kyle extreme anxiety. He recalled a time, hunting with his grandfather, when he had a perfect shot on a deer, but just couldn’t pull the trigger. His grandfather called him a worthless pansy, and later told Kyle’s father that he failed to raise a man.
Kyle went into his shop and looked around for something that would make it quick and painless. After slight deliberation, Kyle decided on the flat shovel. He made his way to the squirrel and looked down upon it. He knew that this was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. His heart began to beat fast and his hands trembled. He knew he had to get it right the first time, as to not prolong its agony. Kyle gripped the handle of the shovel, raised it high over the squirrel, and brought it down with a forceful chop. The shovel hit its mark, bisecting the animal in half, leaving a portion of the carcass in the ground with the square end of the tool.
A feeling of overwhelming malaise and sadness engulfed his being, and tears began to form in the corners of his eyes. With the handle still clutched, Kyle snatched the shovel from the dirt, leaving two separate pieces of the squirrel’s body. He scooped the pieces up and shoveled them into the box. Kyle then took the box behind his shop, dug a hole, and buried the dead squirrel. After the last of the dirt filled in the little grave, he stood over the mound and said a prayer.
Kyle really didn’t feel like finishing the work now, but thought that it might be a good way to take his mind off of the previous lamentable events. He walked inside to get the new saw blade, still unnerved from the experience. Back in his shop, he opened the package, affixed it to the saw, wiped the remaining tears from his eyes, and continued dismembering the blonde prostitute for disposal.
As blood sprayed and flesh and bone were severed, Kyle thought to himself, that fella at the store was right. Those extra teeth do make a huge difference.